I wish I could say that my summer has been off to a great start but alas... that's not even close to the truth. I have been battling with feelings of hopelessness and despair the past couple of weeks. I have an issue with my feet that will not get better. It is only going to get worse and conservative treatment isn't helping when I dance. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that this could end my dancing career forever.
I have been questioning God and getting mad at Him. I am confused at why He would put these desires to dance in my heart and yet I carry the hereditary gene for bunions. No one else in my family got bunions but me. The dancer. Great. Thanks, God.
On my way to work in the mornings, I turn on a Christian radio station because it helps get my mind in the right place for the rest of the day. One morning, this song came on by the Sidewalk Prophets called "Save my Life." I heard the chorus and I just broke down crying in the car. This is exactly what my heart has been saying to God. And it is painfully true.
I have all these hopes and dreams and wants for myself and my life but I have started to realize that God is greater than all of that. He surpasses all of my earthly wants and dreams. It hasn't been easy but I have begun to see that if God takes dance out of my life, something else great will take it's place. "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
He can be more than all I've ever wanted. He is my strength and my hope. Only He can save my life.
"Tell me what I need to hear.
Tell me that I'm not forgotten.
Show me you're the God who can be more than all I've ever wanted.
Cause right now I need a little hope,
I need to know that I'm not alone.
I can hear you calling me tonight, Jesus,
only you can save my life."
-Sidewalk Prophets
