I was recently riding back home with some friends and at one point in our journey it was silent in the car. One of them felt the need to immediately turn on the radio because there was a slight pause or a silence in our conversation. He mentioned the fact that he became nervous when there was no noise. He hated the silence... let that sink in.... he hated the silence.
I believe that silence is something this generation has forgotten about. Thus, our generation has missed out on some beautiful things in this world. How can you hear the melodic song of the Cicadas at night over the buzz of commercials on your TV? Or hear the sweet splashing of a stream as it bounces over rocks over the roar of the highway? This is the beauty of nature and I believe it is something that our generation has missed out on.... tremendously. But more importantly, how can you hear the words of wisdom from your parents or a mentor over the sound of music blasting into your ears through your headphones? Or better yet, how can we expect to hear from God?
There may be many epidemics popping up in our world today but I think one of the biggest ones is the listening epidemic. We refuse to lose touch with the outer world so we choose not to put our phones down, close our laptops, and turn off our TVs. In this world, things are happening so fast that we feel like we always need to stay on top of the latest gossip, news, and romantic texts that we may receive through our smart phones. I am as much at fault as anyone....but I'm begging you, stop! Put down your phone, close your laptop, turn off the TV, and just listen. There is so much happening in the world right around you that you might miss out on something more important than Suzy's latest status update on Facebook.
Everyone is always wondering how to be a better father, mother, brother, sister, friend, mentor, teacher, etc... and this is what I believe the key to all of that is.... just listen. Just because you are a leader does not mean you don't listen. Just because they are younger than you does not mean you shouldn't listen. Because by listening... you just might learn something.
My dad, in his infinite wisdom, mentioned something to me the other night that rang very true. I have never ever been popular. I have been bullied, hurt, lied to, talked about, and mistreated by many "friends." We were talking about popularity and what makes some of these girls so popular. He said that he thought they were popular because they were shallow. They didn't take the time to develop deep roots with a few and then they developed a following so they didn't have time to go beyond the surface with anyone. He said that he thought the reason I had such a hard time finding friends is that I am looking for so much more than that. I search for the real friends that I can talk about deeper things with and that will call me out on certain issues, but also the type of friends that would care for me deeper than I would ever think possible. I had never thought about popularity in that way before and suddenly, to me, it all made sense. I think the one thing that separates the popular crowd from the type of friends you want to live life with is the fact that one merely hears and the other really listens. I think many times the people who I thought were my friends were only hearing what I was saying. They did not care to really listen. They only heard so they could acknowledge properly and then move on to their next "friend." I have struggled and still struggle today to find friends that will really listen to me and not just hear what I have to say.
I know there are many people out there that can probably relate to my struggles to develop good friends and the only thing I can say is... it's hard. I know. But in the midst of feeling alone and isolated, I am beginning to challenge myself. Too often, I drift in zone of only hearing people. I want to be the type of person that always listens... and that is definitely not easy to do! But for my future family, my future husband, and my future friends, I want to develop that skill now. So, if you are actually reading this, I challenge you too. What can you do to start listening and not merely hearing? Where can you find time in your life to insert some time in silence? And how will this time in silence and the time really listening to others help to strengthen your walk with God and your ability to hear His voice?
