When I made the choice to leave Friends University in
January, I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I knew I wanted to
continue dancing but that was about it. It wasn’t until the beginning of March
that I thought seriously about pursuing a career in dance instead of going back
to school to finish out my ballet degree. I started looking but I was soon
overwhelmed with thoughts of hopelessness and embarrassment. Who am I to be
looking into this? I am not good enough… I don’t deserve this… the list goes on
and on. With the help of my parents and my teachers and some close friends I
decided to go for it. I knew I was late into the game but I decided to try
anyway. I found a total of three auditions and decided to take a chance. I have
been flying and driving all over for the past month to audition and these are
just some thoughts I had along the way.
People have always told me that I am brave. Now, I may not
be brave when it comes to social situations so I never really understood why
people saw that in me. But as I was reflecting I realized that I was started to
embrace a new kind of brave. Being brave and choosing to be brave in the
situations where you don’t have to be. I could have very easily chosen to stay
at home and not chase my dreams. No matter how much my head told me I wasn’t
good enough my heart was telling me that I still wanted this and I still loved
it. So I was brave. I jumped up and took a chance. Sometimes miraculous things
can happen when you chose to be brave when no one is telling you to be. When
you are brave for you and not because you have to be, it can be the most
rewarding experience ever.
The last audition I attended was with Charlottesville ballet. First of all, Virginia is a beautiful state and I just felt like this was where I was supposed to be. After the audition they chose to offer me a trainee position with the company. It isn’t paid but it is definitely a step in the right direction for me. The co-director talked about her mission for the company and it rang so true in my heart that I am still in disbelief right now. She struggled with an eating disorder and decided to start the company to take a stand against that stereotype. She strives to make sure her dancers are physically and mentally healthy and has a program in place to make that happen. The whole place felt safe and encouraging. I could see the love of ballet pouring out of that place. In the end there is no-where else I would rather be dancing for. I am so excited to accept my contract and become a trainee with Charlottesville Ballet and I can’t wait to see where this journey will take me.
Charlottesville, Virginia is exactly 1,194 miles from me. I
never thought I would fly that far away from home to audition with a company I
had never seen before but I did and I am so thankful I did. I am still in
denial that I will be dancing with a professional company starting in October.
I am so thankful that I had this chance to be brave and that I took it. I mean,
what did I have to lose anyway.
Take a chance.
Step out in faith.
Choose a new
kind of brave.
Be brave when no one is telling you to.
Be brave when you don’t
have to.
